You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: Oracle to Nightwing. You: Nightwing to Oracle - do you copy? Stranger: That I do, Wonder Boy. You on patrol? You: Yep - I declare this whorehouse crime free... Stranger: Oh, did you take down a prostitution ring? Well done You: Well I took down a lot of their staff for private 'questioning'... If you know what I mean ;-) Stranger: RICHARD! You: I'm working on getting to the bottom of it... You: It's so HARD sometimes... Stranger: What on Earth has gotten into you? You: Apart from a huge knobbly strap-on, nothing... Stranger: Have you been hanging around with Jason? You: Jason Stathporn? You: Some call him the transporter... Stranger: No, your brother, Jason Todd. You know, anti-hero, the Red Hood? All around bad influence? You: You mean my evil half-brother, cruelly disfigured in a bizarre accident involving non-dairy creamer, a junior radioactivity set from the 1950s and three rare species of bandicoot? You: He still blames that shit on me... Stranger: God, you must be drunk or something. Do you need me to call Bruce? You: Banner or Wayne? You: I don't like it when the former gets angry... Stranger: Hmm, maybe Alfred's an even better choice. He'll really set you straight. You: He explained why we fall a while back... His reason wasn't the barbituate content of my blood... You: It probably should have been... Stranger: Richard Grayson, I swear. You are in a heap of trouble. You: You could call it that - after soiling my spandex I'm certainly 'in' something... You: And I may have dinged the batmobile doing donuts outside the night club... Stranger: Bruce is going to murder you. You: But chicks dig the car... right :-D Stranger: I liked it better when you were on the bike. You: He can't do worse than what coming off this ether is doing to me... You: The bike may be in a hedge somewhere off the manor driveway. It was wedged pretty hard, so I left it there - cleaning the blood off the fairing was going to be too much work anyway. You might tell the gardener that I've saved him at least one return flight on his family trip to Europe. Stranger: You're a mess. You: Not compared to the gardener's kid... I put most of what I could find in one pile anyway... You: Did you know that if you hit an 11 year old just right their eyeballs come straight out of their skull before they go under your wheels. Stranger: I think I'm going to have to call Leslie to come check up on you. You: Mr. Neilson is dead :-( You: And before you ask, it wasn't me... Stranger: Leslie, Dick. Leslie. You know, Doctor Thompkins? You: Girl's got a sweet ass... I'd spoil that for every subsequent man she dates... Stranger: She's old enough to be your grandmother. You: Not in the pictures on google images... :-P You: 5' 5" 110 lbs and 19 years old sounds good to me... Stranger: I seriously can't even handle you when you're like this. What's so wrong with you that you think you have to get drugged out? You: It's just the general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... You: There's a cancer eating away at Gotham, and I'm doing my best to enjoy it.... Stranger: Yep, Leslie it is. You: Some goood hard therapy will do me the world of good... Stranger: Yes, I can't argue with you there. You: Better go - just spotted commissioner Gordon out for a late stroll. I'm going to sack tap him and then give him an atomic wedgie... He'll be walking like the penguin for days... Stranger: Do not touch my father, Richard, or I swear I'll have the JLA on your ass quicker than you can say mommy. You: Once he finds out what daddy's little girl gets up to - wandering the streets in spandex, making the criminals unsure whether to fight or fuck you - the random act of violence will seem less severe than the mental anguish. You can be damned sure he's thought about hitting that ass... No red blooded man wouldn't. Stranger: RICHARD! You: Call me DICK :-P Stranger: You know I can't go out anymore! Or did the lack of the use of my legs escape your mind?! You: I could think of a use for those legs - they're surprisingly shapely for limbs suffering the atrophy of a paraplegic... You: I just remember the good old days, when there was always a ready supply of shark repellant and Burgess Meredith walked the earth... Stranger: You can remember the good days all you want, since clearly you don't want to live in them. You: Back then an aspiring porn actor could get job on a kid's TV show, Adam West wasn't the mayor of Quahog and batman's cowl had tasteful eyebrows painted on to truly strike fear into the criminal underworld... You: Of course back then you weren't allowed to actually hit anyone, every time you tried a comic sound effect would pop up and stop you seeing it... You: And at least DC's version of the Joker is less creepy than Cesar Romero... Your conversational partner has disconnected.